Chairman of the Bored
Based on a true story, with only slight embellishments. First of all, maces are FUN to draw! I was lucky to
have caught Mordac by surprise, otherwise he might have loaded his blow dart. This blow dart was fashioned from
a four foot length of galvanized electrical conduit. The dart itself was a four inch common nail, with a skirt
made of a Post-it Notes page. The accuracy was actually quite remarkable, and the nail could easily penetrate
drywall from across the office. I would not have had a chance against that. Other than that, it was just another
ordinary day a the office.
COMIC TRANSCRIPTION: My office is a vibrant community of IT people. But to get to my office, I must cross the
other side of the floor, which is a vast wasteland of empty cubicles. Actually, the wasteland is not completely
vacant. Closest to the elevators is a much coveted oversized cube, where the lone guardian resident sits. A long
time staffer called Marc, also known as "Mordac Armoured Reconnaissance Cyborg". (grumble!) One day, while traversing
the wasteland, I see a perfect chair that had yet to be looted. (oh sweet Lord!) This gem must have been overlooked
as it was in a "micro-cubelet", a six foot by six foot shoe box located behind a large pillar. This "micro-cube" has
a tiny micro sized two drawer file cabinet, and the desk semi-circle cut-out would only allow for a newer style
LED thin monitor, as you would not be able to even fit an old 15 inch CRT monitor there. The chair is an exact
replacement for my own "Comfort Butt ARS-8000", except for some serious differences. 1) The fabric is like new,
without any rips or holes, 2) sweet, sweet stuffing and, 3) a lift cylinder that actually still works. With my
new-found booty for my booty, I try to make good my escape. But the long-idle casters squeak and give me away.
NO! Spotted, my blood turns to ice. Do I drop the chair or bolt? I choose BOLT! No! No! No! Shouts the Mordac.
I card myself through the secure door of my office, and back to the land of the living! "Don't let Marc in!" I shout
to my buddies, but it was too late to close the door on Mordac. Lion and Gazelle, the long hallway to my own
cubicle stretches out before me like the vast Serengeti. As the Circle of Life closes in on me, a final burst
of adrenaline propels me forward to the sanctuary of my cubicle! The Mechanized Beast roars in frustrated rage!
"Today you win my friend, but Mordac will be keeping an eye on YOU!